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Unexpected Outcomes

Dr. Meghan Waldron • Mar 25, 2024

The Power of Knowing When to Reset

I am a planner. 


I map out my days and weeks far in advance, and while I am not super type A, I like to know the general idea of what’s coming up. 


In January, my body was like the waiter pulling the table cloth off the table at break neck speed. But instead of everything landing neatly like it does in the movies, my plans crashed to the floor, my dreams spilled into the tiny cracks and crevices of the floorboards, and despite my desperate attempts to mop it all up, collect each shard of shattered glass- I was left with a whole different set of circumstances.


I am a mom, a wife, a daughter, a friend, a sister, a teacher, an advisor, a traveler, a writer, a reader, a business owner, but I am also something else- I am someone living and coping with the unpredictable.


I have MS. 


For those who are not familiar, Multiple Sclerosis (MS) is an autoimmune disease where your body attacks the myelin sheath of your nerves. Unable to conduct properly, you experience muscle spasms, pins and needles, numbness, and, occasionally, pain. Some individuals with MS lose the ability to walk and even swallow properly. This disease is no joke, and while I have been able to back burner it most of the time with the amazing medical advances, this time, my body said- no more-
insert table cloth scene.


Ironically enough, I grew allergic to the very medicine that was keeping me well, so I had no choice but to go off all medicine and wait for my body to “reset.” 


As you can imagine- this waiting game feels like a ticking time bomb. Last night, the tip of my nose went numb while I was on a call with my EdD team. The weight hangs over me like a heavy shroud because in one week, we will present our dissertation. As my team and I put on the finishing touches, my right pinky finger goes numb. 


This unexpected turn is a reminder that the best laid plans are just that-- plans. 


The only real plan is reality.


Many of the students I work with on a daily basis have to regroup and reset. Life throws them a curveball, and they sit pondering-
what’s my next move? They are in a real life pit and pendulum situation, and I can totally relate. My experiences with resetting allows me to talk with them about this topic in a new light. 


Somewhere along the way, we are taught that resetting is less than ideal. It should be avoided- come on,
stick to the plan!  However, I do not think we have to look at the reset as all bad. It teaches us perseverance, grit, and tenacity. Heck, it might even lead to something better.


So as I adjust to this new, unexpected path I find myself on today, I am reminded we cannot always stop the dishes from crashing to the ground, true, but we can pause, regroup and reset until it is time to set the table again.


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Most days were predictable, and life was a lot simpler when they were 6, 3 and 2. Toys littered the living room carpet and getting somewhere on time was basically impossible, but I called the shots. For the most part -- they obliged. I drove. Now, at 17, 15 and 14 – I have learned (albeit not always easily) to move to the passenger seat. I still offer advice, but they (mostly) drive now. I’m there to press the proverbial brake, but, for the most part, they are at the wheel. It is my hope that the years of learning, talking, laughing, arguing and guiding have settled in…somewhere. That they can figure out their Plan A, Plan B, Plan C and so on. I often tell my guys that the best laid plans always need a back up plan. A back up plan doesn’t mean that you are selling Plan A short. It simply means that you have options if Plan A doesn’t choose you. And quite frankly -- if it wasn’t a fit, you might not want to be there in the first place. For example, as college admissions start to trickle in for open enrollment and early applicants, teachers and parents can almost feel the collective breath holding. Gone are the days of a big packet arriving in the mail- instead, seniors frantically scour their — often very junked up — inboxes for news. Meanwhile, parents see everything in a series of lasts: that’s the last time I have to pay your school fees; that’s your last fall sports’ season, and that’s the last time he will cheer on the football team donned in hot pink. However, these lasts are also accompanied by firsts – this is the first time he gets to decide his next steps, his roommate, his classes. Most of all, I tell my sons – learn to pivot. Learn to be okay with changing directions. Change your lane. Eventually, you will reach your destination. Flexibility and an open-mind are the name of the game. The days aren’t always predictable, but nothing lasts forever, even when we want it to. Pivoting is part of every plan.
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Last week, I told a student we were going to transform some of his notes from one style to a new style– to which he promptly replied, “What if I have not taken any notes all year?” Wow. This was not something I prepared in my lesson, because after all- who doesn’t take notes during a lecture? Apparently, lots. A 2001 University of Maryland study shows that 37 percent of college students were never taught how to take notes. This is no fault of the college freshmen– as high school teachers, notes are somewhat of an antiquated practice in the highly engaged student-centered classroom of the last decade. For parents who do not understand these two classroom styles: Student-centered classrooms are often collaborative in nature with students driving instructional flow with questions and discussion. Students are often grouped at tables or in small groups. Teacher-centered classrooms often have a teacher as facilitator in the front of the room providing direct instruction. Learning is typically from a top down approach. Many secondary schools have shifted to the collaborative model. However, colleges still offer the traditional, lecture style approach, so guess who is getting caught in the cross hairs of the jump from K12 to college? Our students. Here are some note styles that will definitely benefit your high school senior to learn prior to going off to college: Mind Maps: For visual learners, mindmaps offer a visual depiction of notes. While some learners may find this method chaotic, others can grasp concepts better through drawing and clustering. Bulleting: Students bullet notes as the professor speaks– this is a chronological style that seems to work best when listening and discerning information. I highly recommend long hand notes as typed notes become more of a transcript versus true observations and notes. Cornell: This age-old method calls for students to divide notes into three sections: notes, cue and summary. Their outline style notes are traditional, but to the left, a column lists questions posed directly after the lecture. On the bottom, there is a place to summarize the lecture in his/her own words. Flow: I have used this concept for years, but I did not know it had a name. Flow is a conglomerate of outlined notes, scribbles, diagrams, or any representation that shows your understanding of the topic at hand. It’s basically your mind on paper. Outline : These traditional style notes are separated by topics with subsections below. Many students prefer this style because they are easier to develop and more logical in many senses. Students who struggle with higher order thinking would benefit from this style. It is my belief that high school seniors need to learn practical note taking skills prior to leaving for college. Most college classes are still traditional in nature, and our students need some practical tools that will bring success at the next level. (Univ 191 Note Taking, 2023)
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