Knowing Your No
Recently, I have been thinking a lot about energy and capacity and how they play into our work and our parenting.
If you are a parent, you know that “No” while touted to be a complete sentence, is really just an opener with teenagers.
It solicits, Why? But my friends are allowed to (insert thing)? What difference does it make? The list is endless. We have raised five sons, and each one is so distinctly different. I would like to think, like a fine wine, we have improved, but some days I wonder if we start from scratch every time with a fresh barrel of grapes. The scene from I Love Lucy pops into my mind, as we wander around the grape barrel searching for answers.
Recently, I have been thinking a lot about energy and capacity and how they play into our work and our parenting.
They are like yin and yang working in tandem, and if you are not careful, at odds.
My health practitioner told me recently that my tight back says my stress level is a screaming eight. Honestly, I have no aches and pains, but I started to fall sick. I have been really busy launching a second company- which I love. I have a full schedule with basketball games, school events, and college acceptances. I have some late nights tutoring, and amazing, new growth opportunities at the university- these are all great things, but like a bank account, our wellness needs deposits and withdrawals, and our body truly does keep score.
That said, when I recently told one of our teens no to something, the sky fell.
In an instant, I was persona non grata and that is putting it nicely. It was a long, hard few weeks, but I held my ground. Not because I had to be right, but because being true to our family’s mission and vision is as- if not more- important as any one I ever wrote for a company.
So I return to the word, “No.”
Like me, it wears many hats: determiner, adverb, interjection, or noun.
It can:
-modify a noun like, “I have no time for this argument.”
-function as an adverb. I appreciate the offer, but I have to say, “No thanks.”
-be a thing when a vote takes places, “The noes have it.”
-find itself being an interjection, “NO!” End stop.
However, like us, we need to know how to use our no to maintain relationships, keep our peace, and remember we are not grapes, we have stomped around in this barrel before.
