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Lessons Just Beyond the Slurpee Machine

Mon, 06 Apr 2026 00:43:15 GMT

As parents, we often wonder– what did I forget to teach them?

The small man crumpled to the floor like Kleenex.

His tanned legs looked like two pencils neatly folded on the tile floor of the 7-11, a five pound bag of ice at his feet.

“Someone help him up. Oh, John... why did you come up here?” the cashier pleaded.

Everyone stared. I walked over to see what help I could offer as the old, disheveled man balanced to his feet. Grabbing the ice, I handed it to my eigtheen-year-old, Matt, unsure of what we were witnessing.

“Let him through ya’ll. He is sick,” the cashier asserted as worry pressed across her forehead.

The elderly man maneuvered to the counter; he reminded me of the Weeble Wobbles I played with as a little girl. Teetering and tottering, he made it the few feet and leaned on the counter for support.

The young family at the front of the line moved out of the way. They stared, speechless.

The cashier went to grab a chair that John aptly refused. Clearly flustered, she said, “Where is your niece? Are you alone? You aren't well enough to walk over here.” My brain surveyed the situation at rapid pace.

“Does he just need someone to pay for the ice?” the father finally asked, as though we were witnessing two, very different scenes.

“He needs to get home, he’s sick,” she repeated. It was more of a plea than a statement. The mother of the family raised her eyebrows.

The cashier looked all around realizing she could not leave the store. My sixteen-year-old, Holden, stepped forward in front of the family. Without hesitation, said,

“I’ve got him. I’ll stand here to make sure he doesn’t fall. I've got him."

I asked the old man gently, “Is there someone I can call to come get you?”

The cashier went to grab a phone, but it was obvious this had happened before, and there was no one to call.

“I live alone,” he whispered.

“He just lives around the corner,” she pleaded. The line behind us grew. The crowd stayed silent.

“My boys will walk him home…. is it safe?” I asked.

“Yes,” she assured us, “Just around the corner.”

Without hesitation, Holden, clutched the old man’s bony hand, supported his arm and helped him take tiny, miniscule shuffle steps towards the glass doors. Matt gingerly held the other elbow as they navigated the door, the curb, and the block walk to the old man’s beach cottage. John’s bony arm in Matt’s one hand, the five pound bag in the other.

I quickly paid our bill, and the cashier now with a long line shared, “He has cancer.”

"I am sorry to hear that," I replied, "my boys will get him there safely."

I threw the groceries in our car, and went to find the kids. When I did, I found my boys gently opening John’s gate- each with an arm. They walked him down the path, helped him to the door and waited until he was safely inside.

Holden walked towards me, and then went back to look to ensure the door had aptly closed and he was safe inside. It reminded me of how I would check on them to ensure they were asleep before closing their nursery doors.

They latched the gate in silence. The breeze from the ocean picked up, and we walked silently back to our car.

As we drove home, my mind raced. My boys– who took turns driving Interstate 95 to go on our last road trip before Matt leaves for college– just jumped in as grown men looked on. My boys who forget to clean their rooms, do the homework, and take out the trash, knew exactly what needed to be done in a moment of need.

As parents, we often wonder– what did I forget to teach them? What do they need to know before they venture off on their own? Are they going to figure it out? Have I done enough?

In that random moment, my boys reminded me that leadership is not a title; it’s about grabbing the ice and an arm when others keep a healthy distance. It’s about holding the hand of a stranger, when you have no clue whose hand you are holding or what you are walking into. It’s about doing what’s right because it tugs at you and the tiny voice in your head screams, move over- we will help.

My guess is we will leave this island after spending quality time lounging in the sand, relaxing in the surf, and laughing over a plate of fried shrimp, but what I will remember is that 7-11 and that actions always speak louder than words.

Knowing Your No

Tue, 10 Mar 2026 23:25:13 GMT

Recently, I have been thinking a lot about energy and capacity and how they play into our work and our parenting.

If you are a parent, you know that “No” while touted to be a complete sentence, is really just an opener with teenagers.

It solicits, Why? But my friends are allowed to (insert thing)? What difference does it make? The list is endless. We have raised five sons, and each one is so distinctly different. I would like to think, like a fine wine, we have improved, but some days I wonder if we start from scratch every time with a fresh barrel of grapes. The scene from I Love Lucy pops into my mind, as we wander around the grape barrel searching for answers.

Recently, I have been thinking a lot about energy and capacity and how they play into our work and our parenting.

They are like yin and yang working in tandem, and if you are not careful, at odds.

My health practitioner told me recently that my tight back says my stress level is a screaming eight. Honestly, I have no aches and pains, but I started to fall sick. I have been really busy launching a second company- which I love. I have a full schedule with basketball games, school events, and college acceptances. I have some late nights tutoring, and amazing, new growth opportunities at the university- these are all great things, but like a bank account, our wellness needs deposits and withdrawals, and our body truly does keep score.

That said, when I recently told one of our teens no to something, the sky fell.

In an instant, I was persona non grata and that is putting it nicely. It was a long, hard few weeks, but I held my ground. Not because I had to be right, but because being true to our family’s mission and vision is as- if not more- important as any one I ever wrote for a company.

So I return to the word, “No.”

Like me, it wears many hats: determiner, adverb, interjection, or noun.

It can:

-modify a noun like, “I have no time for this argument.”

-function as an adverb. I appreciate the offer, but I have to say, “No thanks.”

-be a thing when a vote takes places, “The noes have it.”

-find itself being an interjection, “NO!” End stop.

However, like us, we need to know how to use our no to maintain relationships, keep our peace, and remember we are not grapes, we have stomped around in this barrel before.

When You Say Nothing at All

Wed, 04 Feb 2026 16:03:35 GMT

Silence moves more men than words...

Last week, I had the most profound juxtaposition.

Early in the week, I joined my friends and neighbors in a crowded board room. In silent opposition, we sat and listened to registered speakers as they opposed a proposed ICE detention center being built in the heart of our community. Quite literally “the Center of the Universe” with the property in question being in Ashland, VA.

Just a few short days later, I along with thousands of Richmonders, took to the freezing cold streets to observe the Venerable Monks pass through on their way to Washington, DC. Holy men draped in orange and burgundy robes started a pilgrimage 2300 miles prior in San Antonio, TX. Without a lot of pomp and circumstance, they drew crowds of thousands with a simple message of peace. As their journey nears an end, thousands flock to see them pass in awe and reverance.

While these two experiences seem anchored by opposition– they share one thing in common– silent messaging moves mountains.

I wrote about hope last week being the one thing that sustains us in troubling times. However, as I think about both of these experiences, their common thread serves as a profound teacher.

In the last several months, the world seems topsy turvy with extreme rhetoric and violence. However, sitting in that board room, silently, and standing on that frigid street in Chester, silently, reminded me that sometimes silence is the loudest speaker in the room., click on it and delete this default text and start typing your own or paste your own from a different source.

The Flower Lady

Thu, 08 Jan 2026 19:07:56 GMT

They, too, had not quite bloomed, and the promise of what they would become was a highlight...

“I know you. You are the flower lady,” the cashier at Publix said to me this morning as she scanned my ingredients for chicken noodle soup and my usual assortment of lilies.

It’s an obsession, I am not going to lie. Flowers, not soup.

I love the ones that are just slightly open. You see their potential, but you aren’t quite sure what the full bloom will display.

“I guess it could be worse. I could be the beer lady or the wine lady,” I joked as she shared with me that she remembers small details about her customers. I let her know that is a great trait and a nice touch in a world full of automation and conversationless encounters.

I shared with her that now I work from home a few days a week, I love to be surrounded by amazing things. It’s especially nice when those amazing things are a tad bit unpredictable and full of potential.

In my previous career, I was surrounded by teenagers. They, too, had not quite bloomed, and the promise of what they would become was a highlight of my job. Now, as a pre-med advisor, I feel much the same. The excitement of what-could-be emanates from the undergrads I advise.

Her comment made me reflect on why it is that I enjoy my weekly flowers. Aside from being the best deal going– three bundles for $12–I love what they represent.

Chance. Opportunity. Beauty.

In the grand scheme of things, I wear a lot of hats, but this new identity- the flower lady– is quite nice. It’s a reminder that we can always reinvent ourselves. Sometimes, we get so locked in our roles that we forget that our identities are malleable to some degree. However, much like the start of a school year, the New Year brings with it an opportunity to shed the old and embrace the new.

Forget resolutions, I’ll take three bundles of lilies.

No Longer Soft: Once Coined Soft Skills will Become Required Work-Force Necessities

Tue, 09 Dec 2025 21:50:37 GMT

No longer touted as soft skills, students should work on crafting a tool-box that looks much different than our own during our high school and college years.

Recently, my son changed his major from Business to Sociology.

I heard the audible gasps of some of my friends. I am not worried in the least; creativity will be the cornerstone for our future workforce.

It was my colleague in advising that assuaged any worries I had at first mention of his shift. As an experienced advisor, she reminded me that knowing systems and understanding people will be instrumental in coming years. After all, his program teaches analytical writing, research skills and critical thinking through studying diverse topics like race, gender and the environment.

No longer touted as soft skills, students should work on crafting a tool-box that looks much different than our own during our high school and college years. They should:

1. Hone Automation-Proof Skills:

According to Megan Cerullo of CNBC, 12% of college graduates are unemployed .

One can assume that rate will continue to grow as roles giveaway to AI. Honing automation-proof skills and harnessing creativity will belong to those who dare to dream and push conventional boundaries. That is why it is critical for students to continue to practice creative thinking. When students are able to connect seemingly disparate concepts into new, imaginative possibilities- the world is truly their oyster.

Not only will creativity lead to employment but so will problem solving.

2. Foster Critical Thinking:

With ambiguous and multi-faceted problems facing various sectors (all at the same time), the ability to move beyond traditional solutions will be a key skill set for grads. Working through complex problems in STEM classes and general education classes, for example, will keep students thinking outside the box and coming up with creative solutions to complex issues.

Furthermore, it is advantageous for all students to have experiential learning via shadowing and internships. If they can start in high school- great. If not, these experiences are crucial as undergrads. Knowing the role, and thinking about problems before they happen, is a game changer.

3. Explore Creativity:

Write a short story. Learn to paint. Build. Practice the piano.

Some argue that creativity is the engine of innovation, and businesses that foster growth will see greater outcomes. When employees and contractors have the ability to test new processes and products, they will feel that their time, energy, and intellectual property is valued by their employer. Students who are comfortable being creative will expect these liberties in the workplace, and this growth mindset will be an essential skill for companies and graduates alike.

4. Practice Adaptability:

If Covid taught us anything it was the dreaded word: pivot. The workforce of the future will be constantly evolving, and a creative mindset enables individuals and teams to adapt and think about solutions from various perspectives.

Students need to be able to shift and move. They need to be pliable and recognize that the only constant is change itself.

Change can be messy and uncomfortable, but it can also lead to growth.

5. Embrace Diversity:

Finally, diversity across teams– age, race, gender identity, nationality– means that various perspectives are included leading to creative outcomes through collaboration. When teams bring different vantage points, there is opportunity for new, innovative answers.

Not to mention, diversity breaks down barriers and dismantles stereotypes.

Change is always an inevitable part of life. However, automation-proof skills like problem solving, innovation, adaptability, and enhanced collaboration will be necessary in every sector and those that aren’t even invented yet. These skills are no longer soft- they are critical to tomorrow’s success.

INDPNDT: The Profound Act of Getting Out of the Way

Fri, 05 Dec 2025 17:18:56 GMT

Tiny nuances in language send colossal messaging

Walking to my office on campus yesterday, a car parked on a bustling street. Students streamed past on the way to their final classes of the fall term. The license plate read something like: INDPNDT.

I stared at the plate and thought, Good for you kid.

More and more, I am understanding the value of getting out of the way. As a parent to sons, 16, 17, 19, 20, and 22, I have not cued them into my epiphany, but I am hoping they feel it in some ways.

I constantly ask myself, Is this helping or enabling? I used to text: Hey- you should apply for this internship. It looks really cool. Then a day or so later, I would follow up: Hey, did you apply for that internship? Crickets. I would grow frustrated; I am sure they were already at frustration level, too.

Now, I spot something cool on LinkedIn, and I might send a screenshot here and there sans advice. It’s amazing when they write back: This is really cool. How do I apply?

Insert solicited advice.

I am learning that leaning out allows our boys to lean in.

My walking partner this morning said, “When you do it for them, it tells them, I don’t think you are capable.” Even at a subconscious level, when we jump in and nudge, push, or straight up do the task– we tell our kids that they need us. Who is that helping? Them or us?

This is not a profound school of thought, but one new epiphany I had this week was the subtle nuance of language when it comes to leaning in or out. Are we using “you” or are we saying “we” and “us”? When we lump ourselves into what they need to be doing– we again give subtle clues that this is a shared responsibility. We remind them they need us to get said task completed or completed to our standard.

Having taught in both high school and now in college, I see the students whose parents, by choice or inadvertently, leaned out. They seem to be the most prepared and the most adaptable to independence.

In my other role with our writing company, I talk to parents often. These conversations often happen in the summer and fall when their seniors are applying to college. Parents are concerned– it’s stressful. I get it. They will say things like, “We are looking at [insert college name], but we want to see what type of merit we receive first.” I often want to ask, Are you climbing in the suitcase and moving into the dorm? Of course, I refrain from sarcasm and respond with something like, “[Insert student’s name] is a really bright and hardworking student. I am sure he will have clarity on the best spot for him when the time comes. I know it is stressful for everyone involved, but you have raised a great kid; I am confident that he will know what is best.”

Tiny nuances in language send colossal messaging; I believe in your student.

Last week, I wrote an article about LLM’s taking the frustration out of the writing process for kids. As a result, they did not learn as much when it came to writing. I think the same principle applies here. The struggle is the lesson. The navigating is the confidence builder. The result is their win, not ours.

Independence is not given; it is accomplished through hard work, amazing wins, tough losses, and of course – parallel parking.

LLMs Eliminate the Learning Space and Impede Critical Thinking for Young Writers

Sat, 29 Nov 2025 17:57:24 GMT

Critical thinking is hard work, and AI, while it is making life easier for industry and students, it is taking the grind out of the process.

Recently, I asked a friend of mine some business advice. She returned to me what I immediately knew was canned advice from Chat GPT. When I called her on it- she said it was objective. I beg to differ.

LLMs are generating content at a seemingly unrecognizable rate, and the result is “shallow and biased perspectives” that simply lack deep engagement and deeper reflection. LLMs- while responsible for enhancing learning in some capactities- are quite possibly robbing students, and adults, from cognitive development, critical thinking and intellectual independence according to a recent MIT study, “Your Brain on ChatGPT: Accumulation of Cognitive Debt when Using an AI Assistant for Essay Writing Task.”

At Thanksgiving dinner, I chatted with my nephew, a junior at West Virginia University about how he is seeing his peers using AI as college students. He shared that some use it as a tool for studying, planning, etc., but he knows some who use it “for everything they do.” While I ponder this fact daily as an academic advisor, his words resonated with me this weekend. How is AI changing the landscape of learning for those developing as learners?

The MIT study shows that the functions of learning matter, and getting into the weeds with writing is where the learning happens.

When Chat GPT does the thinking for learners, it takes them out of the unknown and into the “thinking” of the LLM where few students, if any, deviate from the line of reasoning created by AI. Without this second guessing, it leads to a biased perspective that shapes the user experience creating an echo chamber.

The MIT study shares, “Only a few participants in the interviews mentioned that they did not follow the “thinking” aspect of the LLMs and pursued their line of ideation and thinking.” They accept the LLM at face value.

Finding the answers via AI is undoubtedly easier with less “friction,” but it comes at a cost with answers being curated to fit user expectations. A Microsoft and Carnegie Mellon research study found similar results, “the more you trust AI's abilities, the less likely you are to think critically about its outputs,” journalist Charles-Towers Clark reminded readers.

So why does this matter? AI is growing at an exponential rate, and while this is helping solve many issues in industry, what does that mean for those learning how to learn?

Industry professionals- while engaging with AI- have the wherewithal to question and challenge AI driven outputs. I experienced this first hand at an AI conference at a university where participants asked industry leaders to rethink their mission statement which said users "should not be skeptical or scared of Artifical Intelligence." These leaders said all strong thinkers are, and should be, skeptical. Being skeptical is not a negative, they reasoned. It is a necessity.

I recently put my skepticism to the test with a business plan I am creating. After AI designed the content for slides for an upcoming luncheon, I used that content in a second generator on Canva to build out a presentation. The output- while impressive- was less than optimal and not something I could use in the field. As someone who has designed numerous presentations, I could discern its subpar output. However, based on where you are at in the process- the use and the dependence on AI can mean interrupted and disrupted learning. It can bring skepticism and question, or it can mean blind acceptance.

Simply put- students lean into AI more than they lean into their own abilities.

Critical thinking is hard work, and AI, while it is making life easier for industry and students, it is taking the grind out of the process. The Carnegie and Microsoft study confirm, “For most cognitive activities (knowledge, comprehension, application, analysis, synthesis and evaluation), knowledge workers reported that generative AI had reduced effort.”

With reduced effort comes reduced content, clarity, and learning for our youngest learners who are discovering what it means to learn.

In a viral video on social media, Duke alum, Dr. Becky Kennedy, describes “the learning space.” It is the area between knowing and not knowing often identified with the feeling of frustration. It is in the frustration and the figuring that Kennedy reinforces that learning is taking place.

I have seen this space first hand for over twenty years as I teach writing. First through formulaic writing, we show students how to build an argument and then we show them how to break the formula and design their own pace and structure. It is in this frustration that they grow not only in skill but in confidence.

Writing is critical thinking on paper. They question, they argue, and they defend their thinking with personal anecdote and factual evidence. There is deep engagement and with that deep engagement- learning thrives.

One can argue that LLMs race through the learning space and cut frustration. What seems like a win can actually be the issue. Students are relieved when a beautifully crafted essay is on their tablet in 30 seconds flat, but as a result critical thinking and intellectual independence evaporate, and what is left is a shallow, biased perspective that cuts thinking and robs a student the chance to create, think, and grow.

While AI is at the forefront of much discussion, as parents, educators, and learners- we must continue to ask ourselves how and why we are using it. Are we robbing ourselves of the learning space? Are we circumventing critical thinking? Are we eliminating an opportunity to struggle, grow, and ultimately learn?

Senior Superlatives and Learning New Ways to Communicate

Mon, 03 Nov 2025 12:49:52 GMT

It is vital that we embrace our strengths and redefine what it means to connect.

Senior year, I won the superlative of Most Talkative. I was a bit embarrassed by this title when my best friend won Best Looking. My sister won the talkative title two years before me, so it was only fitting that I held on the family legacy. My parents joked that nobody got a word in edgewise at the dinner table. It was not until I was the yearbook advisor ten years later, when the Most Loquactious (the title was now elevated) award went to the most outgoing, inclusive member of the senior class, and I realized I had it all wrong. Being talkative wasn’t necessarily a bad thing, it meant I was communicating and connecting.

So often in life, it’s how we frame things that allow us to perceive something in a positive or negative light. On a recent podcast, the host said she viewed me as an optimist turning “lemons into margaritas.” That might be the best compliment I have received in a while. Lemonade is sweet, but let’s be real- when life is rough, a margarita hits the spot. Afterall, when we turn lemons into lemonades we might be sprinkling in a dose of toxic positivity, which is not what anyone needs in a disaster. Now, I am not saying tequila is the answer, but thinking outside of the box is.

Through my leadership work, I have come into contact with some amazing people over the last several years. These connections happen organically in classes and at the university. However, I have pushed myself a bit out of my comfort zone to forge connections through platforms like LinkedIn. Thought leaders thrive in spaces like this, and I have learned and grown so much by reading, speaking, and communicating with them. I have learned that communication can look a whole lot different, and maybe that is a good thing.

In an age where AI is communicating for us, I think it is essential that we learn to tap into our own style. It is vital that we embrace our strengths and redefine what it means to connect. So often our circles are defined by our neighborhoods, our workplaces, our kids’ sporting events. While those relationships are valuable, there is also the option to branch out and learn and grow in new spaces that align with our values and our goals– an online forum, a class at your local university, an exercise group…all of these options hold value and opportunity.

Communication and connection are the epicenter for growth. They allow us to look at our life through various lenses. In 1995, I thought- maybe I needed to talk less. In 2025, I realize that communicating and connecting people is my superpower…and it is my sister’s, too. We might be talkative, but we have learned to get others talking and growing, too.

Unexpected Encounters and Powerful Reminders

Fri, 24 Oct 2025 17:16:54 GMT

I gave this man a bunch of old books, a lumpy comforter, and a hoodie with no string, but this man– he reminded me of my why.

Sometimes a story nags at you like a rock in your shoe. It just wants to be told, but your brain tosses it around a bit until the words arrive. This morning they showed up: Goodwill.

It’s a simple compound word that many associate with dropping off hasbeens; most likely they bumped around in your trunk for a few weeks before you actually donated them. Others associate it with Luke 20:14, “Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, goodwill toward men!" No matter what comes to mind when you hear this term, its message is one in the same. Giving– clothes or well wishes– both leave us with a reminder, giving supersedes receiving.

This week, I got a wild hair, and cleaned out my closet. It has been on my to do list for months, but on this particular Monday-- it seemed extra important. I think the Universe knew what was in store for me. After compiling a bunch of stuff that no longer served, I went to work. I forgot about the large bag my son muscled down to the door before heading off to school. Then 4:00pm hit, and I needed a change of scenery. Upon walking downstairs, the bag stared back at me. A break was in order.

I planned to run to Goodwill and the bank. When I arrived at the donation center, an older gentleman met me at the back of my car. He lugged the oversized bag out, and asked if I wanted him to grab the easel that was still in the backseat.

“No, I need that to teach tonight, but thanks,” I replied absent-mindedly. He stopped dead in his tracks and shifted the weight of the awkward, oversized bag.

“You are a teacher?” he inquired. I continued with a long explanation of I guess so, but I am not a full time teacher anymore. I work at a university, but my husband is a “real teacher.” He is at the juvenile detention center making me proud every day. I just teach creative writing once a week……He put the oversized bag down, and looked on in awe. I am not sure if it was my rambling, or he was remembering a teacher from his past who showed him Goodwill.

“Can I give you a hug?” he asked.

“Of course,” I smiled.

So there- in the Goodwill parking lot- with cars backing out in a rush, and passerbyers wondering why this woman and a man in a neon vest were hugging, I felt an immense sense of peace and goodwill.

This man reminded me that the smallest acts of gratitude, the smallest moments of acknowledgement can spark a week of joy. I gave this man a bunch of old books, a lumpy comforter, and a hoodie with no string, but this man– he reminded me of my why.

He spread goodwill with a simple question and a remarkable action.

Perspective

Sat, 04 Oct 2025 12:42:02 GMT

Perspective is the greatest teacher.

Walking into the infusion center for my bi-annual infusion reminds me of my condition. I am not in denial, but most of the time I frame Multiple Sclerosis as another responsibility to be dealt with, another silent battle to be fought, another task to be finished. But the infusion center humbles you- young, old, seemingly rich, apparently poor- you see it all. The one common thread, the desire to be well. In all honesty, the medicine makes me feel worse than the disease, but it is a necessary evil, a necessary foot soldier to this nefarious condition.

As I sit in my chair, a kind nurse assuages my fears by congratulating my early arrival. My husband and I left Richmond at O Dark: 30 to battle 95 traffic. Hopkins is the best, and we are not taking any chances. The kind nurse offers my pre-meds; a paradoxical morning cocktail.

They instantly hit like the tropical storm brewing out in the Atlantic contending with a hurricane. A mix of Benadryl and a syringe of steroid into my IV makes my heart race and my eyes droopy- my body is not sure if I am ready to sleep like Goldilocks or run the Boston Marathon. Next to me a young man snacks on Doritos at 9:00am, and I wonder if he is fighting a similar battle… or maybe worse.

Perspective is the greatest teacher.

She has taught me numerous times throughout my life whether it was sitting bedside with my son, Matthew, during his 97 days in the St. Mary’s NICU, or standing in the pulpit delivering his twin brother, Michael’s, eulogy twenty-three days after they entered this world 14 weeks too soon. Nothing is guaranteed. Nothing.

Recently I was on a podcast and someone said I was an “inspiration.” I do not see myself that way. I am just fighting like everyone else. Sometimes I tease that being put in this chair has actually improved my quality of life outside of it. I know it is not guaranteed. I know all too well that simply living and having a quality life are also not the same thing.

On the ride up 95 this morning, I opened Facebook to to hear Trump’s desire to “train the military” in our cities. A trek through Baltimore’s dilapidated row houses is a reminder that the wars have been fought daily by residents for decades. They do not need the military to remind them of their own battles: racism, poverty, drugs, lack of sound education.

Amidst this reminder, I clicked on a new message and I was blown away by what I read, “I had you for IB English at Hanover High School either in 2015 or 2016 (I believe it was your first year at Hanover High School). I just wanted to reach out to share how much your class meant to me & impacted me. A decade later, I could still tell you in detail about everything we read & studied. I still regularly reread some of the poetry I found in your class. I don’t think I knew back then how much I treasured what you were teaching us. The authors, poets, history that you taught has become such a big part of who I am and how I see the world, so I just wanted to say thank you! And hopefully encourage you that, wherever you are now, you have made such a valuable impact on your students, even if it takes them a few years to fully grasp it.” God winks when I need it most.

As an educator, I always try to highlight others who fight their own battles; they help me fight mine. It’s not fully self serving though, now I have confirmation that they seep into the learning and the lives of my students. These protagonists are the silent warriors. The unsung heroes. They have been put in their own chairs. Perspective truly is the greatest teacher.

She starts my medicine, and the tears come. My heart physically pounds out of my body with the steroid. And then the life altering drugs hit my bloodstream with a surge. I take a deep breath; my husband taps my boot.

“I am right there if you need me,” my nurse promises.

I trust her. Her eyes do not lie, and I remind myself, come hell or high-water, I will walk out of this place in four hours.

Perspective is everything.

Tennessee Byways: Lessons from the Little Pigeon

Sun, 17 Aug 2025 13:53:54 GMT

Educators have a tall order– much like rafting the Little Pigeon, we cope with unforeseen currents, debris that pops out of nowhere, and the occasional spinning raft.

Last week on a gorgeous river in eastern Tennessee, our family barreled through class three and four rapids entrusting our voyage to the skill of our young guide, Megan. I trusted her even though she did not spell it with an H. Her confidence in telling me her spelling was “correct,” solidified my first impression.

It was not her age or her years on the water that ensured our safe passage; it was her demeanor.

As other guides screamed out commands to their boats filled with wayward paddlers, Megan calmly reminded us to “paddle forward” and “relax.” Those were her only two commands, and we did remarkably well if I do say so myself. When I asked Megan how many of her passengers had taken an inadvertent swim in the Little Pigeon that summer, she promptly replied, “I see myself as a skilled guide, so I have only lost three.”

Not bad odds for early August considering she brings out six people a trip, three trips a day since mid-May.

When I reflect on our paddling adventure with Megan, there are some takeaways that are applicable to our everyday lives:

When we all paddle in sync, we are swift and safe.
When we listen closely, we careen through the white water.
When we paddle then rest, we prepare for the next challenge, allowing ourselves to meander through the calm pools.

As I prepare for another school year, these three lessons are vital. Leaning into my colleagues and making sure we are on the same page will allow for swift passage. Similarly, when we listen to one another– not to respond, but to hear one another’s thoughts and opinions, we will undoubtedly move through surging waters. Finally, when we appropriately balance stress and work flow with moments of pause and reflection, we will find satisfaction in the clear pools life has to offer.

Educators have a tall order– much like rafting the Little Pigeon, we cope with unforeseen currents, debris that pops out of nowhere, and the occasional spinning raft. However, a strong, silent leader who knows that less is more and a team who works in unison, makes all of it manageable. Dare I say they allow for a “simple” paddle downstream through churning waters.

Feel the Rain

Sun, 03 Aug 2025 12:59:18 GMT

“Some people feel the rain and some people get wet– there is a distinct difference.”

On a recent trip to Vieques, Puerto Rico amidst wild horses and penetrable heat, I came across a sage waiter whose words resonated long after my plane touched down in Richmond.

Adorned with long dreadlocks and a calming disposition, he shared local delights and provided insight on the best ways to experience the island’s majestic beaches and native foods. While providing his suggestions, a slight drizzle began to fall from the sky– not uncommon in Vieques where it rains on and off, much like Florida.

As we scootched our table and chairs under the awning, he said, “Some people feel the rain and some people get wet– there is a distinct difference.”

His words rattled around in my brain like many quotes do when you hear them at exactly the right moment in time. As I reflected on how I got to this island in the first place, it dawned on me what he meant. It’s not what happens to you, it is how you respond.

Twelve hours earlier when we arrived at the ferry terminal en route to Viques, we learned that we would be delayed upwards of eight hours. It was incredibly hot, and the idea of sitting at a terminal in the middle of an abandoned Air Force base seemed less than ideal. I read somewhere earlier that there were private jets. I mean if the rich and famous can charter a jet, can’t I at least see what it costs? A girl can dream afterall…. After a few phone calls and failed attempts at water taxis and alternate routes, I called the local air service and learned that for $100 each, we could be on the island in seven minutes…. on a private jet. The charter would hold the four of us and our luggage. Scary? Maybe, but it was the perfect solution at that moment. While it was an expense we had not considered, with only four days to spend in Puerto Rico, the idea of eating vending machine food and fanning myself with a travel brochure simply was not an option. We boarded that flight a few hours later and the view was breathtaking. It was an incredible, exhilarating seven minutes as our tiny plane balanced over lush greenery and crystal blue waters; it was a view I will not soon forget.

Thinking about this experience made me realize– when we are “getting wet,” the action is happening to us. This interpretation holds negative connotation. You are simply the recipient of an unlikely and or unexpected chain of events. Quite simply, you are not in control of the situation; the situation is in control of you. However, when we “feel the rain,” the tables turn. In this scenario, the situation is not changing or defining us– we are experiencing it, and we are in the driver’s seat. This positive connotation allows us to take action. The Get wetters like to cast blame- why me? The Feel the Rainers see the opportunity in the unexpected. They ask things like what can I learn from this experience? How does this improve me? How can this seemingly bad thing actually be good? They are not an optimist, an optimist or a realist- they are simply an observer; they question. It’s sometimes hard to feel the rain when you are drenched, but it is an important reminder for us to think about how we are framing our situation.

Viques taught many lessons, but the waiter resonated with me the most. The last thing he said to us that morning when we asked for various recommendations was, “What’s your vibe?” This is a common question or declaration from my college students. It is a colloquialism not often used by our generation, but there is a lesson in it for sure. You get to pick your vibe– there is always a choice. Getting wet is going to happen, but we all have the opportunity to feel the rain.

Take Your Mark!

Sun, 29 Jun 2025 20:11:06 GMT

... with seven days left in the month of June, I had three miles to go.

Every day, I help students create goals– short term goals, long term goals, personal goals, academic goals. It has helped me to reframe my own goal setting in a way that is enjoyable and achievable.

As kids, we had a myriad of goals, and we oftentimes were reminded by our parents, coaches, or teachers of their value. However, as adults, all too often we set goals for kids without stepping back and leaning into our own.

I have thought a lot about the value of goal setting through every stage of life. It is one thing to want the big ticket items- a degree, a certain job, travel opportunities, but it is another thing to remind yourself of the value of waking up early, limiting caffeine, or walking around the block. Goals help define who we are and who we want to be.

This month I set a new goal.

I set out to swim five miles. I used to distance swim about six or seven years ago. I loved the challenge of finishing a mile in one morning or making it across the lake with my friend kayaking at my side. Like most of my goals, that one came and went, replaced by a new one. However, this summer, I decided to dig out my goggles and start my early morning swimming again.

Our neighborhood opens the pool at 6:00 am three mornings a week for lap swimming. It is a small group of early risers out there with their fins and ear plugs starting the day off in a healthy way. It is motivating and collegial. I knew if I just said I would swim a couple of days a week, I would likely do it once or twice– I know that about myself. That is when serendipity stepped in.

While scrolling Instagram one evening, I saw an American Cancer Society Challenge to swim five miles in June to spread awareness about cancer research. Done. My mom is a breast cancer survivor, so I knew this was the short term goal I needed to hold me accountable. I also know that swimming ten half mile stretches was more manageable than trying to swim a mile in each setting. My original plan was to swim every week of June except when I was traveling internationally.

However, life got in the way, and with seven days left in the month of June, I had three miles to go. Yikes. I was swimming in honor of my mom, who was no stranger to dragging us to swim practice. It was a full circle goal to say the least. I needed to kick it into gear and finish this thing by June 30.

I had to reach my goal.

Some friends said, “Meh…we are in a heat wave, nobody will know you set it off for a week. Finish in a couple of weeks.”

That was unfathomable to me. My husband calls me The Rule Follower. There are these invisible sets of rules I place on myself; if I say I want to do something, come hell or high water, it is getting done. So, I laid out a plan of four half mile swims and two mile swims this weekend to wrap up the three miles needed to reach my June goal.

Today is June 29th; I finished.

As I pulled myself out of the water, I was thankful I stuck it out. I am no Olympic athlete, but one thing I know for sure: when we stay true to ourselves, anything is possible.

Uncharted Territory

Sun, 08 Jun 2025 01:10:06 GMT

They find the key in the flower pot, but more importantly they find their way.

When my university offered someone from our team to travel to Genoa, Italy this summer to learn about opportunities for our pre-health students, I jumped at the chance. No stranger to traveling, I love learning about new places, cultures, and people. I said yes before I fine tuned all the details, but I knew they would fall into place…eventually. However, because life has been a freight train barreling down the tracks, it was not until last night that I started looking into the little neighborhood where I would be staying in Milan my first night in Italy.

My first jolt into reality was when I arrived for my layover in London. Navigating how other countries operate their airports is never for the faint of heart. The monitor said they would update the gate at 9:30am, and low and behold, we were boarding the plane at 9:40am. Talk about a quick turnaround. This is the antithesis of the delays we have been feeling in the States.

Luckily, I found my spot, and we touched down in Milan without incident. Then came my next hit of reality. I was traveling alone. I have not solo-traveled internationally since 2003. This is pre-kid era, and I am fairly certain that while I was more adventurous, I was also more naive. Armed with the experience of raising teenage sons, I have a tendency to think about what could go wrong before it inevitably goes wrong. The bus pulled in blaring its horn, and I had no clue if the driver would accept Euros, an app, or a debit card. I got mixed reviews from the equally confused line of tourists surrounding me in a haphazard line. As two buses fought for customers, I hoped that I, and the Australian couple I befriended, end up at Milan Centrale. We loaded our bags beneath and plopped down. Lucky us, the bus took us to the train station. Second miracle of the day.

Finally, I was one step closer to my apartment. Moving from K12 to Higher Ed on an urban campus, I am not a stranger to using GPS to find walking directions around a city. However, Apple Maps struggles in Europe where alleyways and city streets zig zag. As my phone repopulated countless times, I tried to look not-so-lost as I navigated the Milanese neighborhood with all of my luggage. I made the mistake of reading about pickpockets on the flight. Several key codes, hidden keys in a flower pot, and video instructions later, I entered my “home” for the evening and crashed onto the couch.

Truth be told, I just spent time in Spain and Portugal hiking. There was a ton of figuring there, but I was with a friend. We brainstormed together. It has been a long time that I have had to figure out so much on my own in such a short window of time. While nervewracking at times, it was pretty great and it built my confidence that risk-taking at any age grows us.

I also had an epiphany that this is how seniors and rising college freshmen feel all the time. The language of college is new. They leave their comfort zone. They search for allies. They find the key in the flower pot, but more importantly they find their way.

It is my hope that we can help them navigate these new lands. Through customized writing sessions, we help them share their story. We help them pack their bags, and we remind them that they have what it takes, and they are probably markedly better at buying bus tickets and following a GPS than we are. However, I will warn them about pick pockets, and being on their phones in crowded places.

Was it Fun

Mon, 05 May 2025 22:44:55 GMT

"Was it fun, nope. Was it miserable, nope. It was what it was...

I just finished walking over 100 miles on the Portuguese Coastal Route of the Camino. I made friends with Irish expats in their 70s, a former orphanage owner from Germany who complained like a leaky valve until I got her talking about “her kids.” I walked alongside an undercover priest who broke out a karaoke mic and serenaded my friends and I with “You Raise Me Up” in a desolate bar.

Was it fun? Nope. It was not fun- it was something better than fun.

Americans have an infinity with fun. We gamify education. We seek fun at work. At home. Our kids crave fun; they long for distraction. But fun is not always the best end result. Most of my fourteen days hiking the Camino were anything but fun– long lines at the airport, cancelled flights, lost luggage, being lost on a hillside in Portugal…. an urgent care visit in Barcelona.

We woke at 6:00 am to roosters. We walked 8-18 miles a day with 20 pound packs. Our feet ached. My body refused food on the final two days. Was it fun, nope. Was it miserable, nope. It was what it was– a goal, a chance to walk the same path as thousands before me: sinners and saints.

It was endless uplifting stories from my Quaker walking partner who spent over 40 days on the French route a decade ago. It was translating Spanish. It was being grateful for the lady who ran into her house and served us cold water out of crystal glassware. It was finding our hostal amidst cobblestone streets and a quirky GPS. It was deciphering foreign lockboxes, foreign menus, foreign communication.

There were glimpses of fun: when the Irish belted out Danny Boy. When we found our priest at the Cathedral in Santiago at our journey’s end. When I did yoga in a renovated convent during a blackout. But “fun” is like a word you cannot translate fully. It doesn’t quite fit what it was– and for someone who loves words….I can think of a lot of things the Camino was, but fun just doesn’t capture its enormity.

Preparing the Pack

Fri, 11 Apr 2025 17:07:34 GMT

...a winding narrow trail along the coast of Portugal and Spain, helped put it in perspective, and I have not even arrived.

In a week, I will board a plane destined for Porto, Portugal.

This trip is many months in the making, and as our travel day nears, it makes me think about the many months I spent preparing my pack.

This is not a typical trip to Europe to see castles and churches– sure, we may see some of those, but this is a trip about tearing down walls of self-doubt and building up new ones of self-assurance and hope.

You see, I live with Multiple Sclerosis. For thirteen years, this disease has dictated many facets of my life from stealing energy to robbing me of time with those I love most. It has resulted in countless hospital stays, doctors appointments, and frustrating treatments. I made a point a long time ago to make sure that I was a person navigating a disease state, and I did not define myself by it. Some days that took a lot of convincing.

So, when I learned about the Camino– a long pilgrimage through France, Spain, and Portugal, I promised myself that when my MS was under control, I would pack my pack and hit the road.

That day is almost here.

For the last several months, I have woken up at 5:30am and met a group of fun, inspiring neighbors. We walk a few miles and share stories about ourselves, our kids, our bosses, our trips. It is a great way to start the day in the fellowship of other women walking their own walk.

Some days are frigid; I think thirteen degrees was our record, arctic walk. Today, the skies opened, and it poured cold, freezing rain. “Oh, good, I can figure out how to put the cover on my pack,” I said to my friend, who quickly adjusted it over my over-sized pack. We kept walking, taking a slight detour and cursing Siri for getting the time wrong on the downpour. Most importantly, we kept walking despite what life threw at us unexpectedly. It was a whole lot easier to endure the rain while our friend regaled us with stories of a recent trip to Germany.

As a parent and a teacher, I constantly remind my students that what they do now will pay off later. The hours of homework, the fear of presenting in front of a class, the emboldened move to run for class office. These seemingly random events are all being packed in their packs for their long hike. When they have a classmate cover their pack when the rains come– it makes it even more bearable.

When you walk the Camino, everything you need for days – or months– is shoved in a pack that you carry for miles upon miles. As a result, every choice you

make will end in a result, for good or bad. Each item you pack is more weight to carry, so you get down to the necessities.

That’s a whole lot like life. The extra stuff– we can let it go. Drop it in a town. Pass it on to another pilgrim. I will carry only what I need to get me to the next town. The Camino teaches you to figure out what matters. Sometimes in the day to day, we lose sight of that, so a winding narrow trail along the coast of Portugal and Spain, helped put it in perspective, and I have not even arrived.

I know after two weeks, when we reach Santiago, there will be a huge wave of relief. God willing, a goal will be reached, but the real learning was the last several months of preparing, planning, goal setting, and imagining.

We are never too old, too sick, or too tired. It is never too early or too late. I used to think getting on that plane was the first step– that is not the case. The day I decided to walk, plan, and pack– those were the first steps. It does not matter when or how, what matters most is that we start.

8th Grade Epiphanies on Writing

Sun, 06 Apr 2025 19:00:19 GMT

8th graders Aarna, Ajooni, Ohm, and Sahan reflect on the power of writing

After completing multiple sessions with Smart Solutions and being selected into the specialty center programs of their choice, 8th graders Aarna, Ajooni, Ohm, and Sahan reflect on the power of writing:

On Writing…

A piece of lead to shape your universe,

A keyboard to chase your dreams.

Maybe the answer is in a small notebook,

To write about all things seen.

To some it's a chance to escape reality,

And dive into a world of fairies and dragons.

It could bring you to witness a secret spy mission,

Or alien invasion.

You could venture through a magical forest,

Or explore all the oceans blue.

But some enjoy the truth,

Being omniscient of their surroundings.

From the green to the purple to the red,

They seek the answers to their “Why”s–

In a world full of wonder.

It can bring out emotions in others,

Convince them of the other side.

Perhaps it could prove a point,

Or just really sway your mind.

Writing is not just about words on paper,

It's truly about sharing a story.

Either to persuade, entertain, or inform,

It connects us all with the power to grow and learn.

It is a form of art,

That brings me closer to my heart.

And one day you can realize it will touch yours.

-Aarna, Grade 8, Moody Middle School

“The only way to write is to write.” Although these words by Jodi Picoult are simple, they represent a sincere truth. When I first began my journey as a writer, my abilities were restricted by self doubt. I wanted everything to be perfect before it even started. The blank page in front of me seemed like an insurmountable obstacle, and the singular thought constantly in my mind was whether my words would ever be satisfactory.

Over time, I came to learn that writing isn’t about perfection, it’s about progressing one word after the other. Through trial and error, I discovered that growth as a writer comes from consistent effort and the willingness to embrace imperfections. I realized that my first drafts were bound to be far from flawless, but they were a start. As I continued to improve my writing skills, I began to trust the process and allow myself the freedom to express my ideas without the worry of excellence.

Writing has taught me to find my true voice and have faith in my abilities as well as perspectives. It is through writing that I have not only grown as a writer and student, but also as a person. The more I write, the more I understand about myself and creative capabilities. Every word, every sentence, is another step on this writing journey of growth, and I look forward to where it will take me next.

-Ajooni, Grade 8, Moody Middle School

"Our species have been on this planet for quite a few years to come, but what is one thing that sets us apart from other creatures? It’s not like we have the strength of a lion, or camouflage skills of a chameleon, but rather our mind. And that mind has empowered us to create so many technologies and innovations. That one thing isn’t as broad or intricate as you think, but rather, it’s a language. A method to scribe symbols that make our brains think in a certain way and immediately know what to do.

This is the magic of writing, and it can empower us humans to do extraordinary tasks. Here at Smart Solutions, these wonderful tutors have taught me to make my writing powerful, moving, but also subtle, and make the audience really ponder on what they are reading. Writing is important in life because imagine you are the smartest human in the world and you know absolutely everything about Math, Science, History, and Geography. However, if you can’t express your knowledge, your value in society is zero.

Smart Solutions has done more than make me a better writer, it has made me a public speaker, poet, and person. Writing serves as a bridge between my thoughts, and the real world, and Smart Solutions has taught me how to harness this power. My writing has become more engaging, more flowy, and I have also gained a myriad of vocabulary. Unlike other centers, it has also taught me how to actually incorporate these skills into my writing. With the cherry on top, Smart Solutions also helped me get admission into Maggie L. Walker Governor's School. It is a great program and I have really grown a ton as a writer and I owe the world to this wonderful program.”

-Ohm P., Grade 8, Moody Middle School

Passion is always found, not created. It isn’t something you wake up one day and decide to embrace. You stumble upon it unexpectedly, and once you do, you’re hooked for life. Passion is the thing you are willing to dedicate yourself to every day, that feeling of happiness while you do it, something that takes your mind off of life, something you never get bored of; it’s something you truly love.

To me, that passion is writing. In school, we are always asked to write about ourselves; our goals, our ambitions, what we want to be when we grow up. The list goes on and on, but at the end of the day, it circles back as a repetitive and boring assignment. You can’t use the full extent of your imagination, and are limited to the restrictions set by your teacher. It shifted my perspective of this beautiful art, and I began to see writing as a chore rather than an enjoyable activity. However, that all changed when I had to write a fictional story in class. It was my eureka moment, the moment it all changed.

For the first time in my life, the constraints disappeared. I was free to roam in any imaginary world I dreamt of, to explore endless possibilities. Sure, my first ever story was far from perfect, but that didn’t matter, because I let my imagination escape the tight cage it was trapped in. Writing became more than just putting words on paper, it became a way of expressing everything I couldn’t say aloud, a way of turning my wildest ideas into something real. From writing a spinoff of my favorite series to creating my very own story, I knew writing was my passion.

Of course, it wasn’t always easy. There were times when I questioned my ability, times when I couldn’t think of the perfect word to continue my narrative, times when I was so burnt out I felt like giving up. But that's the beauty of your passion. No matter how torn you feel, how lost you are, it always finds its way back to you. I realized that passion is like a seed, it grows with care, patience, and persistence.

As Steve Jobs once said, “The only way to do great work is to love what you do.” I've learned that when you find what you love, what you truly, truly love, you will never have to force anything. No matter the setback, it will come back to you when you least expect it. You simply have to be willing enough to listen and let it unfold like a pathway in front of you.

-Sahan, Grade 8, Moody Middle School

The Power of "No"

Fri, 07 Mar 2025 02:05:26 GMT

"You learn more from failure than you ever do from success."

Many words have true power in the English language, but few of them wield the power of just two letters… N…O. These two letters have the ability to stop people in their tracks and induce a wide variety of emotional responses from tears to outright anger. It is frequently one of the first words toddlers hear from the mouths of their parents as they try to protect them from doing things that may hurt them. As a child I learned firsthand why no was so often the answer to all my questions after ignoring my parent’s advice led to emergency room visits and consequences. As a parent, I was labeled “Dr. No” by my kids because my answer to their requests for sleepovers, playdates and other organized get togethers was often no.

But does the word no always have to be negative? Is rejection always such a horrible thing? As an adolescent and young adult I often found myself paralyzed in situations where the outcome could lead to a “no”. The fear of rejection became more of a motivator than the anticipation of success. Dating was challenging as I avoided asking out girls for dates because I was sure they would say no. As an aside, my father’s advice to just play the law of averages and ask more girls didn’t help matters as I thought that made me look desperate. Allowing my decisions to be limited to only things where rejection wasn’t possible limited me. I missed out on opportunities that could have potentially been life changing, all because of the fear of those two letters.

Later in my adulthood I became a coach, and I began to see the value in rejection and failure. I would share with my athletes how Michael Jordan famously used the rejection of his high school varsity basketball coach, in his sophomore year, to motivate him to become arguably the greatest basketball player of all time. One of my favorite quotes I share with my them is, “You learn more from failure than you ever do from success.” Looking hard at why you weren’t successful at something helps you make adjustments to your strategy and performance. It allows you to self-reflect and self-correct. Changes made from failure often lead to greater success because they are rooted in concrete, previous results rather than conjectures, hopes and maybes.

In this current environment where children are given more opportunity than ever to retry, and winning or losing is secondary to celebrating participation, I think it’s more important than ever to take away the negative values associated with no and failure. It’s not only okay to fail, it’s important to. Failing at something allows the person to make a decision. Will that failure be a deterrent to your future success or a motivator that drives it? Ultimately, as an individual, only you know that answer, but the important thing is not to allow the word no to have all the power. After all, it’s only two letters given arbitrary meaning by culture and time. So the next time you ask someone something or really put yourself out there, be prepared to hear no and live with the knowledge that it’s simply an opportunity to improve and be a better version of yourself as a result.

Realistically Speaking

Sat, 22 Feb 2025 13:06:41 GMT

Fear is a great motivator. This week, I had my first full infusion to treat my MS. My husband drove me to Johns Hopkins to undergo the five hour infusion. It starts with a wave of pre-meds that are less than appealing, but as the body acclimates– the rest is all about mindset. I started a daily mindfulness practice recently, and being able to disconnect and breathe into my discomfort has proven to be a lifesaver. It calms my central nervous system and quells thoughts of discomfort. Being hooked to this machine for five hours is a reminder that I am not well, but I am doing everything in my power to get well. For those living with chronic illness it becomes part of your life much like taking out the trash, feeding the dog, or paying bills. It is a must do- you ignore it, and you will be in the hospital for much longer than five hours.

I used to really resent my disease. It robbed me of time with my boys. It put my work on hold. It kept me from attending various events. It landed me in the hospital time and time again. Since starting my new infusion- which has proven to be a really good fit – I have learned to appreciate my disease in a way I could not until now.

When you are surrounded by health, you are reminded of what you do not have, and as a result, you work hard to get there. Every meal. Every walk. Every moment to breathe is a reminder that the day before that thing was unattainable. This morning I walked two miles with neighbors. It was eighteen degrees outside, and I was so thankful to be in the brisk air that I forgot I was cold. Three days ago, I laid in my bed miserable as the steroids wore off. I gained seven pounds in one day with swelling. Today, I am back to my regular weight, and my body felt renewed after the time outdoors.

I am finally at a place where I am thankful for my MS. Sounds insane, I know. But if I did not have it- would I take it all for granted? Walking? Traveling? Working? Camping with my boys? Would my lack of struggle make me weaker? More content? Complacent?

Fear is indeed a great motivator, but if I have learned anything through this journey, it is that our thoughts determine our reality. The strongest people I know have walked a difficult path- unpaved, bumpy, nonlinear. It is not their struggle that halts success. Instead, it is the struggle that makes them whole.

Six Steps to Sanity in a Completely Topsy-Turvy Time

Tue, 11 Feb 2025 18:30:20 GMT

Maya Angelou said it best, “You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them.”

In these uncertain times, our daily routines can help ground us. There are a lot of unknowns in the world right now, and I have found that settling into my favorites provides me with some sense of normalcy in a very surreal climate.

Whenever I am confronted with a lot of things I cannot control, I go back to the basics: a good book, hot tea, morning meditation, long talks with my mom or sister, and checking in on my friends. Shoot, the other day I went totally old school and wrote a letter to my cousin who has always been a mentor to me. She is working with refugee children, and I wanted to let her know I admire her service and love.

I took a class this fall that focused on being a grateful leader, and the lessons taught seep into my everyday life. When you express gratitude in writing, it provides a boost even in the darkest of times for both the giver and receiver. Try it- it works.

Most importantly, in these uncertain times, our daily routines ground us. Let’s face it, there are a lot of unknowns in the world right now, and settling into my favorites provides me with some sense of normalcy. At the end of the day, we cannot control everything that comes at us, but we can control our response. I try to remember this lesson when my Breaking News alert is on steroids.

Here are some things that seem to be working for me, and I am hopeful they will work for you, too:

Breathe- one hand on your stomach and one on your heart; this placement provides comfort and peace, and three deep breaths in do a world of good.

Read- find an uplifting piece; jump off social media for a second and avoid the negative spaces for a moment; I am reading The Five AM Club and it has all T he Alchemist vibes.

Light a Candle- the simple act of filling your space light and something that smells awesome does wonders to soothe your nerves.

Write- writing is therapeutic and allows you to process things you did not even know were stuck.

Stretch- drop down on the floor and stretch yourself; so much tension stays trapped in our systems; MS has taught me many lessons and stretching tops the list!

Walk- a brisk walk (even 20 minutes) helps reset the mind and body.

My six steps to sanity might not be yours, but I encourage you to try one. Maya Angelou said it best, “You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them.”

Leading With Your Heart

Sat, 01 Feb 2025 17:32:26 GMT

"Nothing is more important than empathy for another human being's suffering. Nothing—not career, not wealth, not intelligence, certainly not status. We have to feel for one another if we're going to survive with dignity." ~Audrey Hepburn

Leading with Your Heart

"Nothing is more important than empathy for another human being's suffering. Nothing—not career, not wealth, not intelligence, certainly not status. We have to feel for one another if we're going to survive with dignity." ~Audrey Hepburn⠀

I have been thinking a whole lot about empathy this week.

I keep going back to the very first students I taught in Prince George’s County, Maryland. Eighty-one languages were spoken at our school, and we had students from across the globe. From my students, I learned grit. I learned what tenacity meant. I understood hope.

Some of my students escaped unfathomable conditions and scribbled their stories in spiral notebooks. I could see the emotion in their words as perfect print transformed into slanted and smeared pages; their dried tear drops were small reminders that they may have left certain regions, but those stories lay deeply embedded in their being.

Twenty-three years later, these stories live in my heart.

I have worked in public education my entire career. My heart breaks for what may become of immigrant and refugee students caught in the cross hairs of recent policy shifts. Feeling somewhat helpless, I reached out to my mentors in education– who, like every amazing educator in my life, had already built a repository of resources for families, educators, and litigators across our region. Once a teacher, always a teacher…their fast acting response reminded me of the proactive nature of many great educators I have had the pleasure of working with through the years. Years of experience. Years of research. Years of loving their communities informed their response. These academics will create connections and support those most vulnerable. It is what they do, and it is what they have always done. There is no agenda– just a community of care, inclusion, and connection.

While the immigrant crisis looms, the calling for the end of DEI brings another sense of sadness. As a recent graduate, I spent the last year studying and then defending the positive impact of DEI initiatives in federal law enforcement. I was most excited about 30 by 30. An initiative aimed at making federal law enforcement 30 percent female by 2030. Suffice to say, these programs are gone as of this week. Our research showed us that, historically, women and marginalized communities have not had a voice in many of our federal, state, and local institutions– including federal law enforcement. I also think there is a common misunderstanding about DEI. The dismantling of these programs will impact not only people by race or gender. They will adversely impact the disabled, veterans, your pregnant wife, your mother going through radiation… the list is endless. DEI is not just about hiring– it is about preserving an equitable environment for everyone. It is naive to think this will not directly impact you in one way or another.

Suffice to say, I do not have many answers this week– mostly questions. However, Audrey Hepburn’s words resonate, but so does a text from a very good friend who teaches dozens of refugee and immigrant children everyday, “Cry and then stand up and keep being that person who values these things. Your students need you.”

If that’s not empathy, I do not know what is.

Avoid Comfort

Sun, 26 Jan 2025 20:27:00 GMT

Last week, I started walking at 5:45 am in the morning with some rock star neighbors. I had this idea when nestled on my couch, coffee in hand, fireplace keeping me toasty. When the alarm went off the first Monday after a three-week winter break, and my weather app reported 21 degrees, I thought, What have I gotten myself into this time?

However, since I was in my twenties, I learned that avoiding comfort leads to my best results. I ran two marathons before the age of twenty-five, and while I hated most of both, I completed them and lived to tell the story. Much to the head shaking of my colleagues who ask, “Why do you do so much?” I simply think, I have always been that way. It was not until I filled out a survey for a student in my early teaching days that asked “Does he appear to run on a motor?” that an epiphany struck me- doesn’t everyone? My base drive “to do” has been with me my whole life– a blessing and a curse– I have learned to curtail it to push myself into new arenas, and I have tried to instill this same desire in my children. Now, when I am driven to do something, I try to ask myself…what do I not really want to do?

That is the thing I need the most.

This had me thinking, as parents, we want to bring our children all of the comforts of life. However, it was not until my youngest son started at a local military school this year (by choice) that I realized we had it all wrong. Much like my bitter early morning walks, he starts each day in formation getting yelled at by school leaders and sometimes drill sergeants from the local Army base. This is not how most fifteen-year-olds like to start a Tuesday, but his commitment to this unorthodox schooling put things into perspective for me. Avoiding comfort yields results. Positive results.

This year, I encourage you to help your student avoid comfort in at least one area. Encourage them to try a class that is a bit harder than the norm. Encourage them to volunteer at a local nursing home once a week and chat with their elders. Encourage them to spend a week building houses with Habitat for Humanity. When we are comfortable we stay stagnant, and learning to be uncomfortable allows us to build self-worth and self-confidence in future tasks. When our kids embrace discomfort, they learn critical soft skills needed for success in college and in the work place.

Finally, as parents, we, too, should embrace discomfort. Doing the work we are good at day in and day out–while stressful– is somewhat predictable. It is easy to do what we are good at, but what about doing something we are not so good at…that is tough. When your child sees you avoiding comfort, they will feel more compelled to give it a shot.

So as you settle in during this second snow storm of the season….ask yourself, how can I avoid comfort and encourage my student to do the same? The moon is beautiful at 5:45 am by the way.

Glass Half Full

Thu, 09 Jan 2025 14:52:48 GMT

What a Water Shortage and "Alone" Taught me this Week

Adaptability + humility + a positive attitude are the keys to survival and success. This week, while being snowed in, I have been binge watching “Alone” with my husband. It is fitting to watch homesteaders succeed or fail out in the fierce Canadian wilderness as snow, ice, and a water shortage hit our small city of Richmond, VA.

For the past two days, we have been without potable water in our county. Our neighbors in the city are on day four. Our experience led to innovative ways to provide water to our family- melting snow on the stove and filling the tubs with snow to flush toilets. Thankfully, we are campers, and access to water, or lack thereof, is not something entirely new to us, so experience kicked in when we realized simple things like filling the dog bowls, washing our hands, or taking a shower were not feasible in our current state.

By nature, I am a problem solver.

My profession is quite simply: problem solving. First a teacher, now an academic advisor, I meet with five to ten undergrads a day. They bring me their problems, and I help them strategize solutions. I am sure this skill set is annoying to my own teenage children who know everything (and remind me daily), but I like to think it has helped them, and me, learn to adapt. Just like those homesteaders, we never know what is coming at us, so learning to pivot is truly a life skill that will procure clean water and maybe a squirrel for supper…if you are in the Canadian wilderness not RVA.

Next, watching this show and watching my community this week, reminds me of the value of humility. At the root, we all have the same basic needs. Water, food, shelter. Let’s face it- most Americans do not think twice about flipping on a faucet, taking an hour long shower, or running their sprinkler systems. But this lack of water is a stark reminder of its value when it is not readily available. It also is a reminder of where we land on this survival spectrum. It does not matter your net worth or your title, if you do not have water for your family- who you are or what you do is irrelevant. On “Alone,” those who display humility persevere. They do not take themselves too seriously, and they realize that mother nature is far more powerful than they, and that mindset ultimately brings success.

Finally, looking at the glass half full really resonates this week. If you have ever boiled snow, you realize it is mostly air. A full pot yields very little drinkable water. From this experience, I realized our dogs much preferred snow anyways, so we could skip the boiling for them. They ate slushy snow bowls all week and loved every minute of it- my hardwood floors? Not so much. However, a positive attitude makes or breaks a man/woman/child. Watching these people literally starve in the Canadian wild and then seeing the pure joy when they get to eat a field mouse, is a stark reminder that perspective is everything..

Much like our pups, seeing the glass half full allows us to adapt. Adaptation reminds us that we are but one small piece in this giant game of chess called life. Being positive, pliable, and unassuming will ultimately make any situation manageable and maybe even enjoyable. While our days without water are a disruption, they are pale in comparison to what these homesteaders endure– but in some small ways, the lessons are the same. Smoked salmon or boiled snow, our willingness to change things up, not take ourselves too seriously, and do it all with a positive attitude means we can soak up the best of what life has to offer.

How Long Does It Have to Be

Mon, 03 Jun 2024 01:38:12 GMT

As an English teacher, I often found myself answering the questions, “How long does it have to be? Do I have to write in complete sentences? How many sentences, exactly, are you expecting in a paragraph?” and so on and so on. It used to frustrate me to know that so many students were okay with just doing the bare minimum. How would we feel about Einstein, Newton, Edison, and all the greatest thinkers of previous generations, if all they ever did was the bare minimum? Then it dawned on me… we don’t really let our students know why we expect them to write.

Writing as an art form, at its core, teaches thinking. Thinking about a prompt, thinking about what words to use, thinking about what story to tell, regardless of the type or length of writing, requires thought. Too often, in the 21st century classroom, we find ourselves less focused on thinking, or problem solving, and more focused on passing a test or finding a technology to apply to our educational goals. Students are experts at multiple choice and regurgitating facts, but they typically don’t have the stamina required to write a one page paper. They lack the discipline to truly look at a problem from all angles and find a solution, or express in writing what that solution would be. Again, this is not their fault, but as educators, I would like to see a shift in what we expect from students.

They need to be challenged; they need to think, use their imagination, judge and be judged. Critical thinking and expressing their ideas is so much more important than the ability to regurgitate information or successfully use multiple choice strategies to correctly answer questions. Those skills certainly have their place, but how many professionals have to pass a multiple choice test during their average workday? Being able to express yourself, confidently, is so much more important. Even if it is only in an email or a memorandum, the ability to write clearly and concisely is a skill from which any profession would benefit.

Communication has become easier than ever, and ironically, most of it involves writing of some sort. Whether it be via text, snap, email or social media post, the art of using the written word to communicate isn’t going away. Being able to intelligently and creatively use that skill is going to be more important than ever, and we need to be fostering those skills in class, no matter the discipline. So the next time a student asks how many words they should write, let the answer be the same… “It doesn’t matter, so long as you put some real thought into what you’re going to write.”

Show Me Your Friends

Wed, 24 Apr 2024 00:19:56 GMT

My mother used to say, “Show me your friends, and I will show you who you are.”

This old adage was really annoying, but as an adult, I know it is true.

They say you are the sum of the five people you spend the most time with on a daily basis. I am not sure if this is scientifically backed, but it makes a whole lot of sense. When you surround yourself with others who have drive, initiative and goals, it cannot help but rub off on you.

As an educator, for years I have seen the value in scrapping a fixed mindset and exploring all options. Having a growth mindset and knowing you can change your situation at any time, is a key way to ensure you will keep growing and keep learning.

Intelligence is not simply a fixed, biological component you are handed at birth on a silver platter. Instead, we have the opportunity to grow our intelligence and learn from the world around us, the people around us and the experiences around us. Simply put- we get smarter because we adapt.

I learned much of these lessons the hard way.

I have spent the greater part of the last two decades figuring. I figured out how to raise three kids on my own. I figured out how to go back into the workforce after being a stay-at-home mom. I figured out how to go back to school after 40.

Ironically, now, my job is to help people figure. I help students figure out their schedule. I help students figure out their learning styles. I help students figure out where they want to be in five years. It is through my own personal growth that I grew my intelligence in figuring.

As students start to figure out their next steps, encourage them to keep an open mind about learning. The opportunity to develop and grow exists. There is no single blueprint for success. However, surrounding yourself with go-getters will help you figure out exactly where and who you want to be, go figure.

Unexpected Outcomes

Mon, 25 Mar 2024 21:19:30 GMT

The Power of Knowing When to Reset

I am a planner.

I map out my days and weeks far in advance, and while I am not super type A, I like to know the general idea of what’s coming up.

In January, my body was like the waiter pulling the table cloth off the table at break neck speed. But instead of everything landing neatly like it does in the movies, my plans crashed to the floor, my dreams spilled into the tiny cracks and crevices of the floorboards, and despite my desperate attempts to mop it all up, collect each shard of shattered glass- I was left with a whole different set of circumstances.

I am a mom, a wife, a daughter, a friend, a sister, a teacher, an advisor, a traveler, a writer, a reader, a business owner, but I am also something else- I am someone living and coping with the unpredictable.

I have MS.

For those who are not familiar, Multiple Sclerosis (MS) is an autoimmune disease where your body attacks the myelin sheath of your nerves. Unable to conduct properly, you experience muscle spasms, pins and needles, numbness, and, occasionally, pain. Some individuals with MS lose the ability to walk and even swallow properly. This disease is no joke, and while I have been able to back burner it most of the time with the amazing medical advances, this time, my body said- no more- insert table cloth scene.

Ironically enough, I grew allergic to the very medicine that was keeping me well, so I had no choice but to go off all medicine and wait for my body to “reset.”

As you can imagine- this waiting game feels like a ticking time bomb. Last night, the tip of my nose went numb while I was on a call with my EdD team. The weight hangs over me like a heavy shroud because in one week, we will present our dissertation. As my team and I put on the finishing touches, my right pinky finger goes numb.

This unexpected turn is a reminder that the best laid plans are just that-- plans.

The only real plan is reality.

Many of the students I work with on a daily basis have to regroup and reset. Life throws them a curveball, and they sit pondering- what’s my next move? They are in a real life pit and pendulum situation, and I can totally relate. My experiences with resetting allows me to talk with them about this topic in a new light.

Somewhere along the way, we are taught that resetting is less than ideal. It should be avoided- come on, stick to the plan! However, I do not think we have to look at the reset as all bad. It teaches us perseverance, grit, and tenacity. Heck, it might even lead to something better.

So as I adjust to this new, unexpected path I find myself on today, I am reminded we cannot always stop the dishes from crashing to the ground, true, but we can pause, regroup and reset until it is time to set the table again.

Getting Your Reluctant Reader to Fall in Love with Books

Tue, 20 Feb 2024 19:20:16 GMT

Getting Your Reluctant Reader to Fall in Love with Books

When I’m asked about how to get a student to fall in love with books, there’s no one “easy” solution. Just like actually falling in love, getting your child to love books takes time.

Undoubtedly, you’ve already tried everything you know how to do to get them to read. I see ample evidence when I speak with parents before tutoring. You may have a stack of books you’ve found for them, collecting various titles from the library, fellow parents, yard sales, etc. You’ve probably told them repeatedly to pick one up and read. Pouting ensures. You ask them again. Same result. You put your foot down.

Do these outcomes sound familiar?

They “fake” read.
They refuse to read.
They reluctantly read.

And none of them lead to actually loving reading.

It’s similar to getting a child (adults too, for that matter) to try vegetables. Plenty of people don’t like them as they are. That’s why so many recipes are sneaking veggies inside of smoothies, pasta, and other delicious food.

While I wouldn’t encourage you to dip a book in ranch dressing to make it more appealing, you can do a few things to promote a healthy reading habit with time and consistency.

Give Them Options

Handing them a book and expecting them to like it, let alone read it, is a gamble. Instead, have them look at several options from a pile. See any commonalities between titles they pick versus ones they don’t. Are they reluctant to pick up longer books but go straight for the shorter ones? Do they grab fantasy books over realistic fiction? From there, find similar titles they may be willing to try.

Find Books with Relatable Characters

Many kids perceive books as boring because they’re about things that aren’t exciting to them or are unrelatable. If your child plays a sport, they may like books that have a main character who plays that sport. That doesn’t mean that you have to look for strictly realistic fiction. Fantasy books with kids their age can still be relatable to them. Just add dragons!

Find Books Similar to Their Favorite Shows

Assuming their favorite show isn’t already based on a book (in that case, get them the book that started it all!), you can find books with a similar premise. Use apps like Goodreads to find recommendations or ask a local librarian for their suggestions (do it, they love it!).

Audiobooks and Graphic Novels Count

While you may want your child to get into reading “real” books, kids can ease into reading with audiobooks and graphic novels. Many graphic novels are part of a series and may even have written book “spin-offs” or extras kids will want to read.

Model Reading

The more an adult reads, especially a parental figure, the more likely your child may want to read, too. The earlier, the better, but it’s never too late to start good habits. That means if you’re not a reader, you can go on an adventure with your to find books you both can enjoy.

Everyone tells you it goes fast, but nothing actually prepares you

Wed, 31 Jan 2024 00:35:44 GMT

Ready or Not, Here He Goes: As Admissions’ Decisions Pour In, Parents Take a Collective Breath

Everyone tells you it goes fast, but nothing actually prepares you. This post won’t prepare you. The first day he walks into high school won’t prepare you. When you click on the accept button for college– definitely. Not. Prepared.

Truth be told, it’s all a bit surreal. Thirteen years of school are in the homestretch- he’s made it. You made it. The endless mornings of waking him up as a kid, making breakfast, scooting him off to the bus. The long conversations talking about friends, sports, teachers, coaches, grades and girls rattle through your mind, as everything feels like a first and a last all at the same time.

I have been a high school educator since 2000. I have seen countless students head off to college, but even that did not prepare me for when it was my own son going through the motions. Last week, my oldest, Charlie, committed to his top choice. His face beamed. A wave of relief fell over me as I now knew where he would actually be living come August.

Most importantly, his joy was palpable, and as a parent- that is all we can ask for, right?

Over the next six months, it will be a series of lasts. However, it will also be a series of firsts, and as his two younger brothers look on, I can tell that they, too, share in the excitement. Mom’s endless tirade of “bring your grades up,” “clean your rooms up,” “look up- there’s a bright side” – in some strange form or fashion, it all starts to click. The hard work can and does pay off.

As I watch my senior start his own path, I am reminded that, as parents, our job is never quite over as we watch their lasts transition to firsts. In the meantime, take a breath, you deserve it. That letter, while addressed to your child, is written to the whole family. It truly takes a village. Ready or not…here he goes.

Does Your Child Need a College Essay Coach?

Mon, 22 Jan 2024 04:42:56 GMT

Does Your Child Need a College Essay Coach?

It’s never too early to think about college applications. Whether you’re a prospective student or a parent, navigating the admissions process is difficult and competitive enough as it is.

A college essay coach helps students shape their personal stories for their admissions essays. They can make the difference between getting into a student’s dream college and having to pick a backup option.

Benefits of Hiring a College Essay Coach

Unsure if your child needs a college essay coach? We’ll show you the benefits of hiring one to help your student prepare for college applications.

Go From Good to Great

You may be thinking, “My kid is a good writer. They don’t need a tutor or coach!”

Maybe. But what if they could be great?

The truth is that college essay coaches can benefit any student at any skill level. Even exceptional, award-winning writers cite the importance of constant practice and commitment to their craft. Even for students pursuing math and sciences, writing skills are essential for communicating their skills and passions to an admissions officer…and beyond.

Stand Out in the Crowd

Stellar grades? Check. Sports and clubs? Check. An essay that makes your kid stand out from the crowd? Not yet.

In 2023, UVA received a record 56,439 applications . That’s a 10% increase from 2022 (if you’re counting). Similar colleges and universities are also seeing record applications, meaning it’s more competitive than ever for students to get into their first-choice school.

A typical admissions officer spends approximately 15 minutes on each application with up to 50 per day. But for a competitive school with thousands of applications?

90 seconds.

You read that correctly.

That means from the very first sentence, the admissions officer needs to be hooked on an essay.

The best way to ensure a thorough, eye-catching essay? Having a mentor who specializes in college essays.

Direct Mentorship

While there are plenty of other ways to get indirect coaching on a college essay, there’s a reason why direct mentorship is king.

YouTube videos are great resources and tools, but can’t give you direct feedback. Workshops are helpful, but may not give personalized feedback or answer everyone’s questions.

Having direct feedback shows what is being done correctly and what needs improvement. One-on-one help means any questions about specific prompts are answered. Repeated problems in a student’s writing are spotted and corrected.

Skills to Keep Forever

Unlike a workbook or program meant for just a short time will take you through the test or assessment. Having a college essay coach with certification means your student will have skills that will benefit them in college as well, not just getting into their dream school.

Don’t forget…college scholarships, even ones you apply to in college, often require essays. Don’t forgot those cover letters for jobs and potential internships, too.

Count on Us for a Premium College Essay Coach

Looking for a certified teacher as a college essay coach for your student? Watch them become a more confident writer after just six sessions. Book a tutoring package today for the direct instruction your student deserves.

FAQ's

How much do college essay coaches charge?

Inexperienced or unlicensed tutors may cost less, but their services are not up to par with an expert. For an experienced and licensed coach or tutor, costs vary. We offer competitive pricing for our services with only the best instructors available.

Where can I find a college essay coach near me?

Can’t find a certified college essay coach who can do virtual instruction? At Smart Solutions, we have a team of dedicated educational professionals ready to help your child one-on-one or in a group setting with Small Learning Communities (SLCs) .

Pivot

Thu, 21 Dec 2023 00:55:25 GMT

Most days were predictable, and life was a lot simpler when they were 6, 3 and 2. Toys littered the living room carpet and getting somewhere on time was basically impossible, but I called the shots. For the most part -- they obliged. I drove.

Now, at 17, 15 and 14 – I have learned (albeit not always easily) to move to the passenger seat. I still offer advice, but they (mostly) drive now. I’m there to press the proverbial brake, but, for the most part, they are at the wheel. It is my hope that the years of learning, talking, laughing, arguing and guiding have settled in…somewhere. That they can figure out their Plan A, Plan B, Plan C and so on.

I often tell my guys that the best laid plans always need a back up plan. A back up plan doesn’t mean that you are selling Plan A short. It simply means that you have options if Plan A doesn’t choose you. And quite frankly -- if it wasn’t a fit, you might not want to be there in the first place. For example, as college admissions start to trickle in for open enrollment and early applicants, teachers and parents can almost feel the collective breath holding. Gone are the days of a big packet arriving in the mail- instead, seniors frantically scour their — often very junked up — inboxes for news.

Meanwhile, parents see everything in a series of lasts: that’s the last time I have to pay your school fees; that’s your last fall sports’ season, and that’s the last time he will cheer on the football team donned in hot pink.

However, these lasts are also accompanied by firsts – this is the first time he gets to decide his next steps, his roommate, his classes. Most of all, I tell my sons – learn to pivot. Learn to be okay with changing directions. Change your lane. Eventually, you will reach your destination. Flexibility and an open-mind are the name of the game. The days aren’t always predictable, but nothing lasts forever, even when we want it to. Pivoting is part of every plan.

Echo chambers……

Tue, 12 Sep 2023 00:46:32 GMT

September 1, 2023

Recently, I taught my Mass Communications’ students about the danger of echo chambers. According to Digital Media, “An echo chamber is an environment where a person only encounters information or opinions that reflect and reinforce their own.” I regularly see these chambers happening with my students applying to college. Oftentimes, the seniors we work with are part of extremely competitive programs, and, more often than not, they are involved in countless activities. Oftentimes, they do very well on standardized tests and their grades are stellar. Many carry double digit AP classes during their high school tenure. As a result, they think they are average.

This, of course, is far from the truth.

While high performance matters to many and is always impressive, I remind my students that they are often only seeing a mirror image. While their scores may be “average” in their circles, they are phenomenal when compared to their national counterparts.

I remind my students that they all have a story to tell. They all have a unique experience that is theirs alone, and that story does not have to be perfect, it just has to be real. I encourage them to step out of their echo chamber. Read about other parts of the world. Recognize that they have accomplished so much at such a young age. Perfection is an illusion. The college essay will never be perfect. There is always something to edit or a sentence to tweak. However, in 500 words they can give a 3D view of who they really are and that far exceeds straight As.

College Essay Countdown

Tue, 01 Aug 2023 19:09:07 GMT

Five Tips for Rising Seniors and Parents When it Comes to College Essays

Let’s face it….trying to get a senior to tackle college applications is like herding cats.

I have seen parents navigate this process for years, but being a mom (and step mom) to one former senior and one current senior- I get it. It’s hard. You want to give your child a sense of independence, but let’s face it- these are the same kids who forget their laundry is in the washer for three days…they need support whether they tell you, “I’ve got it” or not.

The Common Application © has streamlined the college application process tremendously, but unless your child is highly organized and well versed in early action, early decision, binding, non-binding, what actually goes in an essay, etc- it’s a lot for anyone, moms and dads included.

After helping students (and now experiencing the process as a parent), here are some tips that will get your senior on track with college essay writing this summer:

Start now. Begin your college essay by looking at published Common App prompts. It doesn’t matter if it drops August 1, you can write now.
Think about what makes you, you. This is not a time to showboat about winning the championship basketball game- highlight what made you overcome adversity, help out a classmate or try out for the team despite knowing you may be benched.
Write, edit, rewrite, edit. Then write some more. Your first draft is never done. Share it with people. Read it out loud. What works? What doesn’t?
Think about your audience. Sure you may really despise the idea of book banning, but if you complain about policy in your college essay- does that paint the best picture of you, the applicant? Editorials are a great place to vent- not a college essay.
Be yourself. This is the one chance in the application packet to give a 3D view of yourself. Your test scores, GPA and activities are great- but this is a chance for the admissions committee to hear you, in your own words.

Now What? Essay is done….stay tuned next week for tips on organizing deadlines and writing supplemental essays.

For assistance with college essay writing, sign up for one-on-one sessions with our experienced teachers at: www.smartsolutionsva.com .

My son writes how he talks to friends

Tue, 25 Apr 2023 00:11:33 GMT

This is a common concern parents express to us prior to enrolling their children in classes with Smart Solutions. There has been a movement for kids to work through writing seeds in class versus more formal writing such as essays, book reports, etc. Likewise, many school systems are shying away from teaching classics and full class novels; instead they encourage students to choose their own books for independent reading time in middle and high school classes.

While these changes are popular with kids (and many educators), I am not sure this curriculum change gives all students the fundamentals in writing and language usage they need to succeed at higher levels. While I believe in voice and choice to some degree, I also firmly believe kids need to understand grammar, syntax, mechanics, and they should be able to recognize what makes writing "good."

Our classes bring our students back to the basics. We work on grammar rules, mechanics, and voice. We also make sure writing is a recursive process- meaning we spend time working through the five stages of writing while providing ample feedback.

As students strengthen the fundamentals- their writing will sound more fluid and cohesive.

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The Power of "No"

"You learn more from failure than you ever do from success."

Realistically Speaking

Six Steps to Sanity in a Completely Topsy-Turvy Time

Maya Angelou said it best, “You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them.”

Leading With Your Heart

"Nothing is more important than empathy for another human being's suffering. Nothing—not career, not wealth, not intelligence, certainly not status. We have to feel for one another if we're going to survive with dignity." ~Audrey Hepburn

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The Power of Knowing When to Reset

Getting Your Reluctant Reader to Fall in Love with Books

Getting Your Reluctant Reader to Fall in Love with Books

Give Them Options

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Find Books Similar to Their Favorite Shows

Audiobooks and Graphic Novels Count

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Popular Books for Reluctant Readers

Everyone tells you it goes fast, but nothing actually prepares you

Does Your Child Need a College Essay Coach?

Does Your Child Need a College Essay Coach?

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Pivot

More Than a Post-It

Echo chambers……

September 1, 2023

College Essay Countdown

Five Tips for Rising Seniors and Parents When it Comes to College Essays

My son writes how he talks to friends